Wednesday, June 30, 2010

last post be4 i leave?of course its about him

David Villa no 7 -SPAIN
mls nk crita pnjg2 blk kt sini so klik ni dlu(klau nk tau crita dr awl)

reason why aku smbung kt sini is to show you how much my heart breaks thinking i might be missing david villa pny moment with wc.dia skrng mcm on top of his game and aku xleh tgk?:'(
yes theres always the next wc and the next spanish team but blum tntu dia akn main lgi kan?he's already 28..next 4years?umo 32 dia nk main lgi ke?if main pun will he be playing as good as he now for spain?ahhhh im helpless
(time mng dgn portugal bru2 ni)
:') i love this pic sooo much.this is david villa i know.this is david villa i fell with.he will always pnjat ats his teammates if spain won important match.he will be the happiest boy.
(time qualifying dlu)
certainly ill be missing lps hbs spain main je aku akn on9 cari photos time match tu.the best pic ltk kt fb.and the best part david villa yg score so akn ltk pic dia jrla.
i smiled bla jmpa gmba ni.xtau nape haha (ayt mcm dh gila.sedar tp dats the truth haha).its okay sweetie,everyone tau you didnt miss that penalti,it was the jabulani ball yg xmcm bola biasa HAHA.
theres sooo many great players but david villa is the one.David Villa is my Fav.the first smpai la skrng.so honey,go get your golden boot ;)

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

im not trying to please anybody

amik kau!

lately ive received weird question on formspring and through text messages.at first i thought it was from several friends but now i think its from one person.when i asked how'd he knows so much about me,he answered 'dlm blog la'.i was still 'ok,mls nk layan'.

i assume that person will be reading this post too so let me tell everybody how annoyed i am towards your comment u sent me about my blog.esp your latest text that made me doing this.

when i post the childhood dream she/he texted me saying 'im impressed with your latest blog'.so we chat a bit..she/he just kept puji me that i dh 'ahh malasny org mcmni'.but at least i knew something about her/him.ahh leceh la guna / ni..rseny org tu laki la kan?heh.i knew that dia pn minat bola so bole la short kn list sape yg this guy might be.there few names i had in my head but none of them yg aku xsuke..so i thought xpelah lantak la..bla dia nk bgtau sape dia bgtau la.

tapiiii the next post 'we miss you' he started to judge me and questioned my passion..wtf?!andd plg menyampah dia kutuk beckham kaw2 pny.mcm siallll.you know what man,everytime somebody said 'beckham is just a pretty face and he's better in modelling dr main bola',i will have a smirk on face thinking 'kesian ny kau..nk ckp pasal player bola tp padahal xtgk bola pun'.so boy,your msgs abt beckham disgusted me!klau bnci sgt beckham tu,its your choice,dont try to change mine because to me David Beckham is The Greatest football player i have ever known.
(lepas gerammm!)

and yg plg geram dia ckp aku hipokrit sbb minat beckham tp bnci man u.lagi skali,wtf?!!boy,nmpak sgt pemikiran kau cetek.the quality of a player has nothing to do with his club.hbstu mmg kena tukar2 minat club la kan sbb ikut player?wheres the fun to that?

heh aku pny blog,aku pny story aku pny pendapat,klau xsuke go get your own damn blog.

andd pegi tgk match wc england vs greece..mcm mn beckham main sorang2 for england fight smpai last mins..then you can judge him

Saturday, June 26, 2010

:') more than just a game

8thun tgk bola rseny penah nangis 2 kali je.yg btl2 time liverpool kalah ngn ac milan for eufa champion final.skali lgi time tgk beckham nngis time ngn england.tp xdela sedih btl2..just touched sbb beckham.jmpe plak video ni..igt kn gmba je..skali last2 tnjuk yg btl..hmm mmg tr emo lah.jgn la kena ngn spain lak pasni hahaha.


stakat ni yg plg teruk penah tgk footballer nngs kt padang c.ronaldo dgn m.ballack.sejak tu mcm kurang skit xsuke dorng haha

Friday, June 25, 2010

we miss you

before the world cup started my father and uncles told me the story about the great maradona and his magic movement.they told me he is a living legend.he tricked every defender and he was just unstoppable.they miss 'the maradona's madness'.well i felt nothing.i wasnt that amazed.probably because i never seen maradona in action and his 'madness' so i didnt quite get how good he was.

until world cup starts they just keep praising him that he will lead argentina to the final.all these praising have led me remember the one man that really did amazed me.he was one of the reason i love watching football.to me,he is the living legend in my generation,David Beckham.it might be unfair for me to compare these two players but the way i see it,beckham is the no1 footballer of all times.

despite his personal life,those really stupid fouls he made,we cant deny that no one can be as good as david beckham.no one can be good in crossing the ball as him.i believe everyone who watched him played at least did once said 'how the hell he managed to cross the ball like that,perfect cross'.and no one can challenge him in the free-kicks.

lps tgk video ni mcm kena dejavu bla time part mula2 video org tu ckp pasal beckham.mmg exactly happened time mula2 start tgk dia main dulu.and about the future becks haha idk..we'll see.

i miss 'the beckham's beauty'.



Wednesday, June 23, 2010

the childhood dream

im pretty sure tht ppl around me semua tau yg aku tgk bola but rseny xde sape tau crita pasal mcm mne aku boleh minat tgk bola..yg mula2 skali first time tgk and lps tu how aku berangn2 someday yg bnda ni nk jdkan career.

it all started time world cup 2002..time tu drjh brape ah?4 ke 5?mls nk kire.time tu kt kmpung,klntan..so my grandpa minat bola..tgh tgk wc.that evning,england vs brazil..sbagai cucu yg syg akn atukny..ddk la skali nk tgk match tu..ha tu kira first time lah.so that was it,first time tgk i just fell for the game.match after match,i learned how to act watch a football match,bnda2 mcm corner,offside,red yellow card,tackle2 and mcm mna football is the only sport yg player2 ny tere brlakon.trtiup sikit pn jatuh brguling mcm kena karate.

so lps tu strt tgk premier league..trus minat liverpool fc.from liverpool i noticed another thing yg made football best,the crowd.for me,liverpool fans xsame dgn fan team lain.spirit dia lain.fan team lain might kjp minat kjp x..tp liverpool fan?setia dia lain mcm.and i can compared the noise kat anfield dgn stadium team lain.beza smangt dia.
'asl xtgk chelsea main wani?dh 4 dorg skor.liverpool 0 lgi'
'tau..ntahla..rse lgi best tgk liverpool'

i have uncle yg jd coach bola.from him,i learned bnda lain plak,mcm mna nk tgk bola dgn tactics.mcm mn formation bole impact cra player main n can produce more shots on goal.so bla tgk bola,dia akn compare both team pny tactical so i know team mne tere and player mn tere.bla dh tau bnda2 mcm ni,final score isnt the only important thing.cara dorg main tu yg pnting.the best team wont always win a match.wht they say are true,football is a cruel game.

sjk dh pndai tgk tactics,strt baca newspaper bhgian bola.bc ap reporter tu tulis..and how dia critic smua bnda.then tgk2 player2 pny interview..by 12 or 13 aku da ad cita2.nk jd football journalist.i remember angan2 bla ulas pasal match kt newspaper then ppl baca,they will say'yah this girl is right.how come the manager couldnt think like her'.
then bla ad ap2 cup lah,i will be there intrview the player,coach,fans..tgk every game then write for the morning headlines.itll be easy for me..to write sumthing i have passion at.plus i know how the game works.

tp,bla dh sedar yg act im a malaysian citizen,its not that easy pursuing that dream..bola kt malaysia ni dh corrupt dgn politik.so ssh nk capai pegi international.
skrng bla tgh tgk wrld cup..how aku tr pk tactic2 dorg main..bole compare team tu dgn team ni..ap silap coach..tringt blk the childhood dream,angan2 bnda ni bole buat aku jd somebody.of coarse la xsmua opinion aku btl but stll there are ppl out there yg bla bc news,dorg prcaya je ap journalist tu tulis.

i wish i have the guts utk capai angan2 tu.

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

man life is funny

best gak klau nnti keje kat kapal mcm ni.harp2 dptla.ill work hard for this.
best band in the world :)

this year i let myself transformed into two major ways.and i feel,satisfied with this.


coldplay-ive changed from anti-coldplay to die hardcore coldplay fan.igt lgi time lgu viva la vida kalahkan im yours for song of the year klau xsilap,boy i was really tensyen.
'coldplay yg ntah pape tuh klh kn jason?!amende sial!'
i said that dgn penuh perasaan.mmg sejak kecik2 lgi ah kuar je coldplay msti kutuk.ckp xbest.music dorng ntah pape.clearly igt bnda ni.
then,because viva la vida beat im yours,i become some kind of maniac yg xpuas hati.haha.yup i act really felt xpuas hati ngn coldplay.
so aku tr pk,ap yg best sgt lgu viva la vida ni?ap yg best sgt coldplay ni??!
msuk ares,search coldplay,then downlod viva la vida and yellow sbb 2 lgu ni plg byk keluar.
dgr viva la vida,okay la best..tp still,im yours?nothing can beat that?still xpuas hati lgi.
dgr yellow,terdiam.
then yellow earned a place in my phone.almost everynight i tried to listen every song in my playlist but rse something bugged me so i would keep tekan forword until smpai lgu yellow.
finally i put my ego aside,i downloaded few songs from coldplay and they all went into my phone.
but that wasnt enough for me to say im big fan of coldplay yet.i gotta see how they perform live.thats how i love jason.
msuk youtube,tgk concert dorang kt japan.and i think you can guess whats happen next.


laut-sejak dlu,ive always been afraid kat ikan2..esp ikan2 besar..fuyoooo tgk ikan2 besar ngeri gile kot..yg ikan kt giant s.alam tu pn xsnggup pndang..i cant imagine ikan2 besar yg ad kat laut..rseny bole pengsan klau nampak.
so slaluny bab2 laut or ap2 kaitan ngn laut aku xnak amek tau and tkut nk amek tau.mmg pasal laut the last thing i wana know.it gives me trauma everytime i imagine being in the sea and see all the creatures in it.
but rseny tuhan lgi kenal diri kita dr kita sndri,after all the plans i made for the future,i end up chose a career yg mmg nk avoid.marine tech engineer.it requires me to be at the sea at least 4-5 months.no one force me amek bnda ni,no one yg bg idea pasal nih but ntahla rseny da mmg takdir kot..ntah mcm mn nampak future kt situ and bla pk2 blk i think it will be great to see the ocean.not many yg dpt peluang ni kan.pasal ikan tu,i will learn to like them.maybe ill love when i see the dolphins.
lately,rse mcm xsaba nk blaja bnda ni so i can be at the ocean.dulu i might think this is crazy but skarng,im exited.

Thursday, May 6, 2010

michael vartan

"sometimes i wake up before u do, and i watch u sleep,and im overwhelmed because youre so amazing"

i cant find the right explanation either

there are things that time cannot mend,some hurts that go too deep that have taken hold.

everyday i wake up when the sunset comes and sleep when the sunrise end.i get so comfortable being alone at night that i dont want to go anywhre else nor be with anyone else.just me and this silence that seem have giving me air.

let me be in this situation bcos i couldnt find any better way to keep breathing.at least for now.

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

hans zimmer

cant remember what year it was but i was still in skolah rendah and in labuan when that day my dad came home from somewhere and bought-pearl harbor soundtrack-.
he opened the cover eagerly and asked me to sit beside him.so i did.he hit play then forword until song no 4.he said"dgr ni".


"abah suke time bunyi gitar tu mula2 msuk"
then we just sat in silence listening to the whole music.

since that day i kept listening to the soundtrack and my dad noticed that.so he bought more soundtrack-while you were sleeping,the rock,the last mohican,the lord of the ring..
i just fell in love with the music.no more singing and no more words.just the instruments.
i used to wake up early every weekend to watch the sunrise at the coridor then i would played these music,drinking nescafe,see the beach,alone.it felt calm.damn,i should that again.

one day,i watched gladiator the movie.apart from the story,i noticed one thing that was really amazed me,the soundtrack.the music drove me into the story that i cried watching the ending.ppl only cry on hindi movies okay.but that music really made me feel touched by the scene.

this was when maximus died

when maximus met his family in the afterlife

for years ive listened to these soundtrack and i could imagine that exact scene in the movie.its beautiful how music can tell us what to feel without any words and just take you to different places that it just you who would appreciate and understand it.

finally while looking at those cd's,i noticed this,most of the soundtrack is composed by hans zimmer.

Thursday, April 29, 2010

the beauty of football

last nite,i watched inter milan vs barcelona,it was semifinal of the champions league(for those yg xtgk bola,this league kira plg gempak).the first leg results in inter won 3-1 at home game so last night,barca needed 2 goals to secure their place in the final facing bayern munich.
as always,i waited for the game,barca vs inter,the giant club from spain and italy were about to fight for that last ticket.anyone who watched football couldnt miss this,even my father woke up at 3pm to watch it.

i may have waited for the game but honestly,i wasnt exited to watch it.in fact,i cant remember the last time i really wanna watch a game.that exitement feeling i used to have when waiting for the game to start had gone.i remember i used to feel menyampah when some say they couldnt understand football,diam2 je ah..xpyh tgk..aku xkutuk pn kau pny desperate hausewives,gossip girls,etc..
well but thats not the point,it just occured to me,am i losing the love for football?

so the game started,until half time,no goal.at the time i felt the game was boring,inter kept playing defensive and barca didnt try hard enough to create a goal.and,i wasnt supporting either on both team,just wanted to see how they play and the scoring but nothing happened.klau ngntuk dh time tu mmg ttp tv tdo ah.which i couldnt possibly did if it was last year,those time when im in love with football.

second half started,the pattern was still same and boring until about 80th min,barca scored.
man,i was surprised by the score that aku jerit goal sekuat hati.i felt joy.and i couldnt remember the last time i had this joy and happiness when a team scored.how i miss this situation.how i miss football.

and now goes the best part,waiting for the second goal.the crowd started to make noise,both team now started to create goal and all the intense i can feel it now.less than 10min left,i watched with focus to every movement the players made and my eyes just kept following the ball hoping there will be a second goal and barca would won.all of the sudden i was a barcelona fan.
then the miracle of football happened,barca scored.
goaaalllllll!i screamed,i jumped,i ran around.man,that feeling you get when you watched every movement while hoping they would score and then they actually did,is just unbelievable.thats the beauty of football.

now the shit part,referi said it was a handball so the goal didnt count.all that joy,became geramness.
now the worst and cruel part,it wasnt a handball,the referri just saw it that way.of kos we couldnt do anything except maki referri giler2 pny but it doesnt gonna change anything.the goal wasnt counted.
match ended with inter won all because of that stupid referri.

im just grateful and feel great again to have felt the way i used to feel when watching football.ive lost it over 5months and its good to be back.

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

moving on

so ive delete my last 7posts.its my first step towards a new life im creating.
and this will work out.my level of confidence?100percent.
because my heart isnt fragile anymore.

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

hey wait!

"yes miss can i help you?"
"im looking for john mayer-battle studies?"
"oh yah that..we dont have it yet bcos it depends on our suppliers..maybe theyll send next week"
"next week??that album has been out for months kan?"
"hmm im sorry theres nothing i can do"
"okay what about other rock corner?"
"yes theres one at the gardens..its in the first floor......."
xsempat bg instructions kt aku,that guy paling kt kaunter,aku pn paling jugak.

"the cd"said the guy kt kaunter.i was out of words.i just stood there staring at him.staring at his arms.both arms cover with tatu.
the guy who was with me angguk kt dia and quickly running towards him smbil ckp kt aku"okay miss go to the gardens then,........."
i couldnt pay attention to him bcos that tattoo guy really got me attracted.so slowly i walked towards him too.

the tats guy tgk jam and said"okay gotta run"
dia jln cpt keluar rock corner and dont know why i followed him.for a moment my brain stopped and just ikut je dia.bcos he was so fast i couldnt catch up.i lost him.

dont know why i did that.even aku bole ikt pn dia nnti nk buat ap?i remember thinking that i was going to shout to him'hey wait'but nsb baik dia jln teramat la cpt.klau x aku da buat keje bodoh.

Thursday, January 21, 2010

i failed jason

"that was awesome.i gotta start pretending to care."
-
house-

dh 3days keje,customer msk je,kene ckp"hai welcome"
time ambik order kene jd friendly,siap ad customer ajk borak2
time customer nk blk,dia ckp"you were very nice to me,here's the tip"
slps gaduh2 mnja aku xnk ambik tip kene ckp"tq come again have a nice day..bye2"

"anybody can be great because anybody can serve"
-
jasonmraz-

before i wanted to take this job,i was hoping i could dpt at rock corner,pool,starbucks or mn2 yg blh jd less friendly ngn customer.but,jasonmraz is always in my mind,his saying is always in my brain.so i thought,this is it,this is my chance to prove i can be him.so i took the job,yg kene be him.

after a week now,every customer aku served,i felt like i was lying to myself.i hate it.buat ap nk greet dorang?korang nk dtg mkn ke nk borak ngn aku?xreti nk bc menu tuh smpai nk kene tny2 aku?but bcos of the job,aku kene lyn smua kerenah dorang smbil buat muke semanis mgkin padahal dlm hati i feel disgusted.

so yes,i got my answer to question that ive been asking for a quite some time.
jason,i fail,im the other guy.


"gosh wani!you're being house"
that was my sis when we were arguing.she was right,i realise that now.

Thursday, January 7, 2010

he's the thousand things

well ive seen a thousand things in one place
but i stopped my counting until i saw your face
erasing memory,well i feel as though ive never seen a face before
until i saw your eyes
AND THEY'RE SMILING BACK AT ME THROUGH MY TEARS
....

see ive always wanted to kiss you
but i,i always wanted to run from you
because ive always wanted to miss you

-
1000 things by jason mraz-

still remember first time i heard this,i remembered him.the lyrics above i wrote,is how my feelings towards him.
abt 3 years ago i met him when i was in kecelaruan.the man who i trust the most turned to be exactly opposite what i thought he would.he fell for someone else.
so i was in shocked,thinking all men sameee jeee.then,i saw him.He smiled.somehow i felt like he was smiling to my tears.

3years now and that one night is just that.i never see him again.i want to see him again.i do want to go and find him.go to the place where we met every night and wait for him if i have to.

but,what would happen if i do find him?how will he react?how will i react to his reaction if its just going to turn out not the way i hope.

all this time if ppl ask abt the boy in my life i would say its him.i will tell the story about that night and after that i could just smile and miss him and hoping someday i can see him again.
im not ready to let that go,to let that dream go.not yet.so if i find my answer now,and the answer is no,i dont think i can still say its him.i dont want to say its not him.
ive always wanted to see him
,but ive always wanted to run from him,because i always wanted to miss him.